(: this is mine3
(: this is mine
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I’m fine.
I’m fine.
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Article 7
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I need to stop D: ive cut since the age of 12. It is the only...
I need to stop D: ive cut since the age of 12. It is the only way i can deal with my problems. Although deep inside i know it never solves anything. I have no hope. No strength.
I have cuts/scars all over my hips and thighs. Cuts, burns and scars on my left wrist.
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I can never get them deep enough…
I can never get them deep enough…
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It never stops.
Hey look, here’s another typical depressing submit. Sorry about the lack of originality. Cutting to the chase: -feel like shit. -Fuck all left in the world for me. -Collecting pills. -Bottles of bleach and razors.
I hate people who are like me. And I hate myself.
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Depression, has always been beside me as long as I can remember. I didn’t have any kids my...
Depression, has always been beside me as long as I can remember.
I didn’t have any kids my age when I was little. My brothers and sister were already teenagers when I was born and didn’t want to be bothered by me. So I learned to play by myself. I had no friends in kindergarden. But in first grade, I met a boy. His name was Joshua Ory. And I felt like he was my best friend. We were always the trouble makers in class so we got put in the back together. Then he died. One morning, I woke up and was listening to the radio in the bathroom and putting my hair in a pony tail with my mom. And I heard the radio announcer say that a boy named Joshua Ory had been killed in a fourwheeler accident yesterday. devistaion could not begin to describe how I felt. The years went on and I tried to be happy and make friends with whoever wasnt calling me fat. Nobody took intrest.
Then I went to middle school and started band. I made so many friends and I was so happy. I actually met 4 other girls and we were inseperable. Then seventh grade came… I heard the word divorce from my mother from the first time. I didnt know what to do my parents became so bitter towards one another that I didnt know what to do or how to handle it. then my first boyfiend broke up with me. (We had been together since 6th grade) I had seen the cuts on my brothers arm before and one day I gave it a try. And it worked. I felt so at peace afterwards…. Depression swept over me and now I dont even remember my seventh grade year except that I wore long sleves everyday.
Until someone turned me in to the counseler. She never told me who it was though. It was my birthday actualy. She got me out of class and walked me to her room. There wasnt a doorknob on the inside of the room and I couldnt run out…. And I was certin thats why they took it out. I was asked to raise my sleve. I had carved words into my arm at the time. She promtly picked up the phone and called my mother. The pain in her vioce stopped me for a long time.
Two years went by and I never picked up a razor. I tried to act as happy and girly as possible. Freshman year kicked my ass. And guess who felt into old habbits? Then I stopped again and I started to develop self hate. Why couldn’t I lose weight? Why wasnt I pretty? Sophomore year a carved freak into my leg and cut my slef on my left arm multipule times. My junior year, I started to honestly get better. I had people telling me Im beautiful the way I am. I dont need to lose weight. I carry myself well. And got involved in archery and started winning. Alot. I won state. and nationals and N.A.S.P. The same year I started. Who would have thought? It as great. My best friend was my instructor. He was amazing. He taught me everthing I know And during the summer he quit talking to me. I quit loving myself. And Its my senior year, Im the head of the archery organization in my school, I have to take the act and start getting ready for college. I m so overwhelmed and I feel like I have no one. I dont have time to cover up the cuts And the sacrs embarress me so much. but the emotional ones I have on my heart are just too much. I dont want to fall back into my old habits but I feel if I dont have anyone to talk to Im going to explode. I havent picked up a razor in 2 years…… I dont want to again but im so tired of crying. I know it does nothing but cause more self hate. But I feel I have no other way out…… I dont know what to do..
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x3lifegetsbetterx3 replied to your post: Depression, has always been beside me as long...
x3lifegetsbetterx3 replied to your post: Depression, has always been beside me as long as…
wow you have been a lot and your truly strong for surviving it all. I also a senior now and i know how stresful it can be, but please dont cut. You owe yourself that. I know life can be hard but think about it even if your in pain will it really help to cause yourself more…
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on your song list, you should add you are loved by josh groban :3
done! :)
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x3lifegetsbetterx3 replied to your post: Depression, has always been beside me as long...
x3lifegetsbetterx3 replied to your post: Depression, has always been beside me as long as…
JUst remember please dont cut.!!! you dont deserve it. You are the only true friend youll ever have that will always be ther for you, so treat yourself well just like you would treat your friends, And good luck!!! :*
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pupfresh: New Video: Paradise Fears Turtles: The Fighter...
New Video: Paradise Fears Turtles: The Fighter Project
if there are any Paradise Fears fans following, I think you should check out this video
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I Really Need Advice... I Dont Know How Much Longer I Can Take Everything And I Dont Know What To Do...
please come off anon so i can private message you? what’s wrong?
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my story x
“so this is pretty much me i’ve had surgery on my feet and was bullied all through middle school for being in a wheelchair, & other is just some stitches the self harm is where i selfharm now, and a lot of them are almost healed up but a few are new cuts i was 2 1/2 months clean until yesterday.. but yeah just wanted to share stuff about me, thank you for making this blog :)”
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